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labingiTitle: "Love Letters"
Fandom: Mainly Banana Fish
Characters: Ash, Eiji, Sing, cameo by Yut-Lung
Spoilers: All of BF, light spoilers for DN and DN-Bodyverse
Warnings/Rating: References to physical and sexual violence, swearing; rated R this section for angst.
Summary: Eiji falls; Ash gets dumped; Russian politics take a turn for the worse.
A/N: The reference to weirdness in Colorado is from The Body, Death Note fic.
Teaser: Ash: I was willing to sleep with him. I even enjoyed it sometimes. I told him so, even though he never believed me. What the hell did he want?
Letters 1987-1990 and Author's Notes
Letters 1994-1998
Letters 2003-2004
Letters 2006-2010
Letters 2020
Letters 2025-2026
Letters 2031-2032
Letters 2036
"Letters 2038-2044"
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Max
Sent: 02.07.2038, 11:15 a.m.
Hey Eiji,
Did you hear that Max passed away? Pneumonia so I hear, "the old folks' friend." I hope he went peacefully. It seems like peaceful deaths are so rare, unless you're a pet. Then, they're pretty common.
When Kira got me, it hurt like hell. I mean, I don't remember what it felt like, but I remember how I felt about what it felt like; it was shocking but too fast to be really scary. Coming back was much scarier.
Max was a truly moral person. He was one of the few who absolutely put his money were his mouth was, even if it meant risking his life, career, everything. He was the last person I know of besides me who remembered Griff.
He remembered Vietnam, and there aren't many of them left either. Remember how the Jehovah's Witnesses used to say that the world would end before the last person who remembered WWI died (or something like that)? I feel like that about Vietnam, like when no one remembers, the fabric of our world will change. It doesn't make sense; I can't explain it.
Let me know how Ibe-san's taking it.
love,
Ash
***
To: Don Smith
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Max
Sent: 02.07.2038, 2:56 p.m.
Hi Ash,
I hadn't heard, but then I checked my messages and saw I had a couple of messages. I'm also sad he's gone. I called Ibe-san. He's ok. He's sad, of course, but it wasn't unexpected and they haven't seen each other very often for many years.
I don't know what to say when old people die, except I don't find it so sad. When my father died, it was not so sad. And I loved him so much, but it was his time to go. But there is no polite language for this.
It sounds like it's hard for you, maybe partly because it's symbolic? (I don't say so to belittle your feelings for Max as a person.)
How did you find out about it so fast?
love,
Eiji
***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Re. Max
Sent: 02.07.2038, 8:52 p.m.
Hey Eiji,
I heard it from Jessica. I've had a secure line with her for quite a few years for work. She was a great info. source in the day. You said it's not so sad. Honestly, I get that vibe from her too: it was expected; it's life. Then again, this is Jessica we're talking about. She doesn't show scads of emotion unless she's scolding you.
I'm really tired, Eiji. Not depressed tired, just tired tired. I feel like I've been up for 24 hours. Gonna go to bed.
love,
Ash
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Meanwhile...
Sent: 02.07.2038, 9:10 p.m.
By the way, I think I told you my team's been doing research on the electrical disaster in Colorado. No clue how it happened. But probably linked to Kira. That's some weird shit. And probably killed Max sooner. He and Michael were on vacation in Frisco this past November when that all went down: no meds for a couple of weeks. Well, it would have come sooner or later.
***
***
***
To: Don Smith
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Jiggity Jigg
Sent: 27.04.2040, 10:02 p.m.
Hi Ash,
Is my subject heading funny? I think you told me Griff used to say, "Home again, home again, jiggity jigg," when you got back from a store or something. So Sing and I are home again in Izumo, arrived about 12 hrs ago. Sing is being snippy about it. He says if was just him, Japan could kiss his ass after the way he was treated. But with Ming and Hisui here and also my family, it's better to be back.
Me, I am mostly just glad that the new regime repealed the Immigration Transparency law. The world is crazy enough without more craziness. I'll miss Waikiki, though, and especially Ashley and our botanical walks.
love,
E
***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Re. Jiggity Jigg
Sent: 28.04.2040, 11:36 p.m.
Hey Eiji,
Yeah, Griff did used to say that! Man, that takes me back.
Glad you guys got back safe and sound. You're not settling in Izumo, are you?
love,
Ash
***
To: Don Smith
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Jiggity Jigg
Sent: 29.04.2040, 10:48 a.m.
Hey Ash,
We're settling in Akita again since Ming is teaching there now. Yeah, Izumo would be too far from Ming and Hisui; we are just here for transition and to see my sister, etc.
E
***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Re. Jiggity Jigg
Sent: 03.05.2040, 6:14 p.m.
Hey Eiji,
I guess Akita will be pretty cold after Waikiki, but it should feel like coming home.
Sorry for a late reply. I've been kind of wiped out. I just got diagnosed with... wait for it... vitamin B-12 deficiency (also D, like everyone). Sounds awfully unexciting, but I figure, in medical terms, that's a good thing. Actually, unexciting is good in general.
I've been reading up on the "multiplication and unification of L's and Kiras." First it was biology metaphors and now it's math. The theory has produced some interesting articles though on the construction of a unitary mythos based on an institution maintained by multiple individuals, which, in turn, is hypothesized to be based on an originary individual (which I happen to believe, by the way). Sasha and I have been debating about it. He's got a sharp mind for this kind of meme theory.
A
***
To: Don Smith
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Jiggity Jigg
Sent: 05.05.2040, 3:22 p.m.
Hi Ash,
You don't sound wiped out. I find your language a little hard to follow, but I think you mean, there was one Kira (or L), then the role was given to others, then society assumes those others are really all the same one?
Remind me who Sasha is?
If you have B-12 deficiency enough for such fatigue, I worry you don't eat enough?
love,
Eiji
P.S. Started rewatching Varvara S3. I forgot how good the Svetlana arc is.
***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Re. Jiggity Jigg
Sent: 07.05.2040, 10:16 p.m.
Hey Eiji,
Yeah, probably wasn't eating enough, but anyway, I'm under doctor's orders now, so don't worry about it.
Sasha is Vadim's son. I think I mentioned a while ago that he'd started working with us? He's got a Ph.D. in political science from the U of Nevada, which makes him far the most erudite of us. It also makes me want to visit Mono Lake. I'm sending some of his photos of it.
A
P.S. Are you kidding me? S3 is when V jumped the shark (and I do mean V, the character). The Svetlana arc was the high point though: decent look at career v. family in the '70s USSR.
***
To: Don Smith
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Quick Update
Sent: 10.05.2040, 2:01 p.m.
Hey Ash,
It's Sing. I just wanted to let you know that Eiji is ok, but he's in the hospital right now. He took a fall day before yesterday (kind of theme for the poor guy, huh?). We were out hiking, and he slipped on a rock. He slipped a disc and also broke his hip. He'd been planning a hip replacement for this summer, so we've just pushed that up. He's having surgery tomorrow.
He'll be fine, but he's pretty zonked out on meds right now, and I know you guys write every few days or so, so I didn't want you to worry if you didn't hear from him.
He'll probably write you from the hospital in a couple of days. Don't worry, ok?
--Sing
***
To: Sing Soo-Ling
From: James Crane
Subject: Re. Quick Update
Sent: 10.05.2040, 5:43 p.m.
Hey Sing,
It's Ash. Thanks for letting me know about Eiji. Don't worry about this address; it's just one of my aliases that I'm using for added security since I only found your real mail. Reply from Eiji's to the usual recipient, okay?
Honestly, it got to me to hear about Eiji. I get that he'll be okay; you expressed in terms as reassuring as humanly possible, and I figure you're not lying. It just made me realize how old he is. Even though he sends me pictures of you guys now and then, it's hard for me to really conceptualize that he's 74 now. Maybe it's because, thanks to the Kira weirdness, I ended up so much younger.
I just... I'm worried suddenly that he's not going to be around forever, you know?
I'm glad he's okay. Heck, he's Japanese; he'll make it to at least 110, right?
Ash
***
To: Don Smith
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Quick Update
Sent: 11.05.2040, 8:07 p.m.
Hey Ash,
Your added security's not very secure; all someone has to do is look in my inbox.
I hear you. Yeah, Eiji's going to be around for a long time to come. He'll probably outlive me. I'm doing ok, but I've got higher cholesterol and high blood pressure. Aside from slightly brittle bones, he's fit as a fiddle. But I get what you mean.
You should visit. I know there'd be some risk, but at this point, we both know that's not the reason.
--Sing
***
To: Sing Soo-Ling
From: James Crane
Subject: Re. Quick Update
Sent: 13.05.2040, 11:18 p.m.
Hey Sing,
No one's going to look in your inbox. I'm anonymizing the outgoing is all. But you're right; it's flimsy. All this correspondence is really low risk, or I wouldn't be writing you at Sing SL, but better a little safe, huh?
I think whether or not I should visit is a very open question.
Ash
***
To: Don Smith
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: I Fa' Down
Sent: 14.05.2040, 10:13 a.m.
Hi Ash,
I'm glad Sing wrote you so you weren't worry about me. I'm still at hospital, very loopy. Pain medicine is great! When Hisui runs around my room, it is kind of psychedelic. Sing says he talks to you about visiting?
love,
Eiji
***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Re. I Fa' Down
Sent: 14.05.2040, 8:27 p.m.
Hey Eiji,
Man, you do sound loopy. I'm glad you're okay. It must have brought back scary memories. Sing and I talked a tiny bit about me visiting. The trickiness of getting fake papers aside (it's doable), I shouldn't. It would disrupt your life, and it would disrupt mine. I kind of hate myself for giving you "brutal honesty" when you're loopy and recovering from hip and back (?) surgery. But I got to nip this in the bud. Maybe sometime, but I can't now. I love you. I love you so much. That's why.
A
P.S. If I came, I wouldn't want to go.
***
To: Don Smith
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. I Fa' Down
Sent: 16.05.2040, 11:54 a.m.
Hi Ash,
It's ok. I hope one day you won't feel that way. But you feel the way you feel. I love you too.
E.
***
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***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Fed Up w/It
Sent: 11.03.2041, 12:42 p.m.
Hey Eiji,
So B walked out on me. It's over. Moreover, he says I'm the one who really didn't want a relationship. Me. Just because I didn't get off to his satisfaction during sex. Therefore, we must obviously revert to being "just friends," whatever the hell that means.
I was willing to sleep with him. I even enjoyed it sometimes. I told him so, even though he never believed me. What the hell did he want?
This really annoys me.
Not B walking out, which infuriates me; I mean this incessant bludgeoning of our society on the idea that you can't want someone as a partner unless you want them for hot sex. I am so tired of it all. Sometimes, I just want to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger just so I won't have to hear anymore of this shit.
He's going to Petersburg for a while. We'll still work together remotely but... jeez.
Ash
***
To: Don Smith
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Fed Up w/It
Sent: 12.03.2041, 8:16 a.m.
Ash, don't joke to me about killing yourself. It bothers me. Please don't.
I'm so sorry about B. It sounds like he doesn't understand this part of you, which surprises me because you have been together for years, and I think he knows you pretty well, right?
I don't know Boris, so I can't comment on what he is thinking about, but it sounds like this comes from his own issue too? Maybe you can still work through it?
I feel angry for you, not at Boris, but at your situation. You deserve someone who understands you. How can someone be blessed by being close to you and not study you enough to understand?
love,
Eiji
***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Fed Up w/It
Sent: 12.03.2041, 3:37 p.m.
Thanks, Eiji. Well, striving to look at it from B's POV, I guess a lot of it goes back to his marriage/being gay. He always felt his marriage was fake because he wasn't attracted to his wife, and she felt the same way. Given that and fact that society spends every waking picosecond trumpeting the idea that while sex might not be love, love is most definitely sex, it's not surprising he feels this way. Put that way, I can see how me being kind of lukewarm isn't enough for him. So I guess I just couldn't give him what he needs. Damn. That's even sadder.
Sorry about the suicide riff. It was just harmless ideation. Funny thing about coming back from the dead is you really don't want to die again.
love,
Ash
***
To: Don Smith
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Fed Up w/It
Sent: 13.03.2041, 9:08 a.m.
Ash, you should come and visit us. Come and be with your friends, who would never imagine that you are not enough. That idea is laughable.
You said once if you came you wouldn't want to leave. So don't leave.
love,
Eiji
***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Re. Fed Up w/It
Sent: 14.03.2041, 11:12 p.m.
> Ash, you should come and visit us.
Yeah, you're probably right. But I can't right now with the political situation the way it is here. I'm not making excuses. I'm sure you've seen it in the news. Security at the borders (and everywhere) is tightening up, pending the election in April.
Blanca actually wrote me about it. First time I've heard from him in donkey's years. He wanted to know if my aliases were secure. He sounded more straightforward than the usual Blanca. Maybe that's what age has done to him.
Boris arrived in PB today. I'm glad he's safe.
love,
Ash
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Re. Fed Up w/It
Sent: 14.03.2041, 11:14 p.m.
I was just looking at your pseud. Why did I name you "Airy"? Because I didn't want you to be "Aged"? Are you a spirit of the air? Like a fairy--rhymes with airy? A fairy in the middle of the rice field ;-)
"And by the moon, the reaper, weary, piling sheaves in uplands airy, listening whispers 'tis the fairy..."
Or is that me?
***
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***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Well, that's done it.
Sent: 07.04.2041, 11:46 p.m.
Hey Eiji,
Well, the jig's up. The "election" results just came in and with these neo-Kirites, we'll be looking at heavily tightened security for a while. Vadim and I are going to move; I'll probably be out of contact for a while. But it'll be okay. Nothing compared to what we faced down in NY. Just old-fashioned, Soviet-style having to hide your ass to cover any "irregularities."
Just heard from B. He's going to lie low for a few days, then move too. We're okay; we've drilled our cell pretty well to be ready for this.
A
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Re. Well, that's done it.
Sent: 07.04.2041, 11:55 p.m.
I'll write you next from "Jennifer Short." And to be on the safe side, we'd better start coding.
***
To: Don Smith
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Well, that's done it.
Sent: 08.04.2041, 7:45 a.m.
Hi Ash,
You know, whenever you tell me, "It's okay, it's okay..." (>_>)
Be safe. Write when you can.
love,
Eiji
***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Jennifer Short
Subject: Re. Well, that's done it.
Sent: 13.04.2041, 1:23 p.m.
Hey E
Okay, settled at our new temporary HQ. Not much I can write about. All we've doing is logistical stuff is I can't talk about. Tired--but getting my B-12. How are you?
love,
J
***
To: Jennifer Short
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Well, that's done it.
Sent: 14.04.2041, 3:42 p.m.
Hi J,
Thank God I heard from you. I know you're careful and out of touch for a few days, but I worried too. We're ok, following the news about Russia. Western media is calling it martial law. Eastern media hesitates, but China calls the Kirite regime "a partner we step toward quietly." YL tells Sing he has lost some contacts in Russia and Ukraine, but I guess that's not a surprise if they are moving, like you. Write when you can.
love,
E
***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Jennifer Short
Subject: Re. Well, that's done it.
Sent: 20.04.2041, 2:10 a.m.
They hauled in B's wife. Jesus. We're going to see what we can do.
A
***
To: Jennifer Short
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Well, that's done it.
Sent: 20.04.2041, 7:56 a.m.
J,
My thoughts are with you. I hope you can help B's wife and also do so in a pretty safe way. If I can help--what I really mean is, if YL can help--let me know.
love,
E
***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Jennifer Short
Subject: Re. Well, that's done it.
Sent: 20.04.2041, 11:58 p.m.
E, I'm in touch with YL. You don't need to liaise. But thanks. I know you feel helpelss. Just keep doing your fundraising, and all that you do. We'll each cultivate our garden, though I don't know why Voltaire is especially relevant.... Gotta go.
***
To: Jennifer Short
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Well, that's done it.
Sent: 20.04.2041, 7:56 a.m.
I think Voltaire is relevant because he believed in free thought. But you show me I don't remember anything about what he said. We would have to create God. So did we create Kira? Did Kira create himself to be God and now Kirites rise like an Inquisition?
Sorry, my babble is not helpful, but I want to respond and tell you I am here.
love you,
E
***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Jennifer Short
Subject: Re. Well, that's done it.
Sent: 24.04.2041, 7:34 p.m.
Fuck. they nailed B. Wife still in custody but they'll probably let her go with b dead.
***
To: Jennifer Short
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Well, that's done it.
Sent: 25.04.2041, 7:51 a.m.
I am so sorry. I cry for you.
***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Jennifer Short
Subject: Mad World
Sent: 28.04.2041, 8:31 p.m.
"And I find it kind of funny. I find it kind of sad..." Sorry, you asked me not to and I'm doing it again. No, I'm not going to kill myself; too many other people out there trying to to give them the satisfaction.
Moving again. May have some delay
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Jennifer Short
Subject: Mad World, Take 2
Sent: 28.04.2041, 8:33 p.m.
Sorry about all that. I know it scares you. We're not in that much danger; I'm just venting cause depressed about B. You know.
***
To: Jennifer Short
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Mad World, Take 2
Sent: 29.04.2041, 8:01 a.m.
I understand you're venting because you're grieving. I will wait to hear from you.
love,
E
***
To: Jennifer Short
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Mad World, Take 2
Sent: 05.05.2041, 7:10 a.m.
Can you send me mail if you get this? I know you are busy moving but let me know you're okay?
love,
E
***
To: Jennifer Short, Don Smith
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Mad World, Take 2
Sent: 08.05.2041, 6:36 a.m.
Did you get my last mail? I guess maybe you are offline somewhere. Mail as soon as you get this please.
E
***
May 8, 2041
Dear Don,
I don't know if this address is still current, but I thought I would check. Long time, no hear. Drop me a line if you get this, okay?
E. T. (phone home)
***
To: Silver Dragon
From: Sing Soo-Ling
Subject: Ash
Sent: 09.05.2041, 10:03 a.m.
LYL,
Eiji's not able to get ahold of Ash. I'm sure you've been following the upheaval in Russia. He and his fellow hackers and whatnot were on the run following the election. They tried to spring a woman from custody between April 20-24. Failed. Ran. Her estranged husband was killed. That's all Eiji knows. Oh, and Ash said he'd be incommunicado for a while, but Eiji hasn't heard anything since 4/28.
I know how much you love sticking your neck out for Ash, but can you let us know if your intel has anything? Thanks.
btw, did you change your number on me again, or can't you at least get Xun to pick up a call?
--SSL
***
To: Sing Soo-Ling
From: Silver Dragon
Subject: Re. Ash
Sent: 9.05.2041, 6:45 p.m.
Hello Sing:
I'm well. Thank you for asking.
The number did get changed, yes, though I assure you it was a security measure rather than a personal affront. I will have Xun contact you from the new one tomorrow afternoon.
As for Ash, I'm checking. Preserve yourself in patience: my network is thin west of Kyrgyzstan, so don't mail me every day for an update. I'd find it irksome.
LYL
***
To: Silver Dragon
From: Sing Soo-Ling
Subject: Re. Ash
Sent: 09.05.2041, 8:06 p.m.
LYL,
Thanks. You're a mensch, you know that?
--SSL
***
To: Sing Soo-Ling
From: Silver Dragon
Subject: Re. Ash
Sent: 14.05.2041, 6:45 p.m.
Hello Sing:
I am not now, nor have I ever been, a Mensch.
There is a decent probability that Ash was apprehended by a mercenary cell called the Cold Sun, also abbreviated XC or KS, on April 27th. If that's the case, there is a decent probability he is alive, as their hallmark is selling information. Of course, given how difficult Ash can be to contain alive, there is a decent probability he is not.
There is also a distinct possibility that he did not fall into the hands of the XC. My information is based on several educated guesses about the identity of the group apprehended.
Unless he resurfaces, in which case I have no doubt he will contact Eiji with far more celerity than my contacts will update me, it is unlikely I'll have further information.
I am enclosing a brief document on the history and characteristics of the XC to forestall Eiji's predictable flood of queries.
LYL
***
To: Silver Dragon
From: Sing Soo-Ling
Subject: Re. Ash
Sent: 15.05.2041, 8:52 a.m.
Thanks, YL. I knew you'd come through. Hope you're still continuing well.
--SL
***
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To: Eiji Okumura
From: Vladimir Ilych Ziv
Subject: Your Friend
Sent: 28.06.2041, 9:22 p.m.
Hey Eiji
It's me but a friend is typing this out for me. No computer acces in here. I'm in prison but Im ok. I'll update you when I can will be rarly. They treat us ok. I'll write from this adres when I can maybe very seldam. To varify it's me you once sent me pumpkin and I flushed it. Pumpkins have scare me since I was 5. Love you.
***
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To: Eiji Okumura
From: Vladimir Ilych Ziv
Subject: Your Friend
Sent: 17.05.2042, 10:53 p.m.
Hey Eiji,
It's me. My friend typing. Still in prison, still ok. It's not so taugh at here. There motivated by mony not ideology, which is good for us. I have made some friends like this guy. Say hello, dude:
Очень приятно, Эиджи.
Wish you could write me back but don't reply for my friends safty. Love you.
***
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***
To: Eiji Okumura
From: Mikhail Kenin
Subject: From Vladimir Ilych
Sent: 31.03.2044, 10:53 p.m.
Hey Eiji,
I should stop writing you. You probably thought I was dead and it's not help you to keep wondering if you'll heer from me every few years. This is a new address because a new friend is helpful. Things are same here. I will write again when I get out. I will get out. I'll try my best.
Letters 2047
Fandom: Mainly Banana Fish
Characters: Ash, Eiji, Sing, cameo by Yut-Lung
Spoilers: All of BF, light spoilers for DN and DN-Bodyverse
Warnings/Rating: References to physical and sexual violence, swearing; rated R this section for angst.
Summary: Eiji falls; Ash gets dumped; Russian politics take a turn for the worse.
A/N: The reference to weirdness in Colorado is from The Body, Death Note fic.
Teaser: Ash: I was willing to sleep with him. I even enjoyed it sometimes. I told him so, even though he never believed me. What the hell did he want?
Letters 1987-1990 and Author's Notes
Letters 1994-1998
Letters 2003-2004
Letters 2006-2010
Letters 2020
Letters 2025-2026
Letters 2031-2032
Letters 2036
"Letters 2038-2044"
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Max
Sent: 02.07.2038, 11:15 a.m.
Hey Eiji,
Did you hear that Max passed away? Pneumonia so I hear, "the old folks' friend." I hope he went peacefully. It seems like peaceful deaths are so rare, unless you're a pet. Then, they're pretty common.
When Kira got me, it hurt like hell. I mean, I don't remember what it felt like, but I remember how I felt about what it felt like; it was shocking but too fast to be really scary. Coming back was much scarier.
Max was a truly moral person. He was one of the few who absolutely put his money were his mouth was, even if it meant risking his life, career, everything. He was the last person I know of besides me who remembered Griff.
He remembered Vietnam, and there aren't many of them left either. Remember how the Jehovah's Witnesses used to say that the world would end before the last person who remembered WWI died (or something like that)? I feel like that about Vietnam, like when no one remembers, the fabric of our world will change. It doesn't make sense; I can't explain it.
Let me know how Ibe-san's taking it.
love,
Ash
***
To: Don Smith
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Max
Sent: 02.07.2038, 2:56 p.m.
Hi Ash,
I hadn't heard, but then I checked my messages and saw I had a couple of messages. I'm also sad he's gone. I called Ibe-san. He's ok. He's sad, of course, but it wasn't unexpected and they haven't seen each other very often for many years.
I don't know what to say when old people die, except I don't find it so sad. When my father died, it was not so sad. And I loved him so much, but it was his time to go. But there is no polite language for this.
It sounds like it's hard for you, maybe partly because it's symbolic? (I don't say so to belittle your feelings for Max as a person.)
How did you find out about it so fast?
love,
Eiji
***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Re. Max
Sent: 02.07.2038, 8:52 p.m.
Hey Eiji,
I heard it from Jessica. I've had a secure line with her for quite a few years for work. She was a great info. source in the day. You said it's not so sad. Honestly, I get that vibe from her too: it was expected; it's life. Then again, this is Jessica we're talking about. She doesn't show scads of emotion unless she's scolding you.
I'm really tired, Eiji. Not depressed tired, just tired tired. I feel like I've been up for 24 hours. Gonna go to bed.
love,
Ash
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Meanwhile...
Sent: 02.07.2038, 9:10 p.m.
By the way, I think I told you my team's been doing research on the electrical disaster in Colorado. No clue how it happened. But probably linked to Kira. That's some weird shit. And probably killed Max sooner. He and Michael were on vacation in Frisco this past November when that all went down: no meds for a couple of weeks. Well, it would have come sooner or later.
***
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To: Don Smith
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Jiggity Jigg
Sent: 27.04.2040, 10:02 p.m.
Hi Ash,
Is my subject heading funny? I think you told me Griff used to say, "Home again, home again, jiggity jigg," when you got back from a store or something. So Sing and I are home again in Izumo, arrived about 12 hrs ago. Sing is being snippy about it. He says if was just him, Japan could kiss his ass after the way he was treated. But with Ming and Hisui here and also my family, it's better to be back.
Me, I am mostly just glad that the new regime repealed the Immigration Transparency law. The world is crazy enough without more craziness. I'll miss Waikiki, though, and especially Ashley and our botanical walks.
love,
E
***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Re. Jiggity Jigg
Sent: 28.04.2040, 11:36 p.m.
Hey Eiji,
Yeah, Griff did used to say that! Man, that takes me back.
Glad you guys got back safe and sound. You're not settling in Izumo, are you?
love,
Ash
***
To: Don Smith
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Jiggity Jigg
Sent: 29.04.2040, 10:48 a.m.
Hey Ash,
We're settling in Akita again since Ming is teaching there now. Yeah, Izumo would be too far from Ming and Hisui; we are just here for transition and to see my sister, etc.
E
***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Re. Jiggity Jigg
Sent: 03.05.2040, 6:14 p.m.
Hey Eiji,
I guess Akita will be pretty cold after Waikiki, but it should feel like coming home.
Sorry for a late reply. I've been kind of wiped out. I just got diagnosed with... wait for it... vitamin B-12 deficiency (also D, like everyone). Sounds awfully unexciting, but I figure, in medical terms, that's a good thing. Actually, unexciting is good in general.
I've been reading up on the "multiplication and unification of L's and Kiras." First it was biology metaphors and now it's math. The theory has produced some interesting articles though on the construction of a unitary mythos based on an institution maintained by multiple individuals, which, in turn, is hypothesized to be based on an originary individual (which I happen to believe, by the way). Sasha and I have been debating about it. He's got a sharp mind for this kind of meme theory.
A
***
To: Don Smith
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Jiggity Jigg
Sent: 05.05.2040, 3:22 p.m.
Hi Ash,
You don't sound wiped out. I find your language a little hard to follow, but I think you mean, there was one Kira (or L), then the role was given to others, then society assumes those others are really all the same one?
Remind me who Sasha is?
If you have B-12 deficiency enough for such fatigue, I worry you don't eat enough?
love,
Eiji
P.S. Started rewatching Varvara S3. I forgot how good the Svetlana arc is.
***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Re. Jiggity Jigg
Sent: 07.05.2040, 10:16 p.m.
Hey Eiji,
Yeah, probably wasn't eating enough, but anyway, I'm under doctor's orders now, so don't worry about it.
Sasha is Vadim's son. I think I mentioned a while ago that he'd started working with us? He's got a Ph.D. in political science from the U of Nevada, which makes him far the most erudite of us. It also makes me want to visit Mono Lake. I'm sending some of his photos of it.
A
P.S. Are you kidding me? S3 is when V jumped the shark (and I do mean V, the character). The Svetlana arc was the high point though: decent look at career v. family in the '70s USSR.
***
To: Don Smith
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Quick Update
Sent: 10.05.2040, 2:01 p.m.
Hey Ash,
It's Sing. I just wanted to let you know that Eiji is ok, but he's in the hospital right now. He took a fall day before yesterday (kind of theme for the poor guy, huh?). We were out hiking, and he slipped on a rock. He slipped a disc and also broke his hip. He'd been planning a hip replacement for this summer, so we've just pushed that up. He's having surgery tomorrow.
He'll be fine, but he's pretty zonked out on meds right now, and I know you guys write every few days or so, so I didn't want you to worry if you didn't hear from him.
He'll probably write you from the hospital in a couple of days. Don't worry, ok?
--Sing
***
To: Sing Soo-Ling
From: James Crane
Subject: Re. Quick Update
Sent: 10.05.2040, 5:43 p.m.
Hey Sing,
It's Ash. Thanks for letting me know about Eiji. Don't worry about this address; it's just one of my aliases that I'm using for added security since I only found your real mail. Reply from Eiji's to the usual recipient, okay?
Honestly, it got to me to hear about Eiji. I get that he'll be okay; you expressed in terms as reassuring as humanly possible, and I figure you're not lying. It just made me realize how old he is. Even though he sends me pictures of you guys now and then, it's hard for me to really conceptualize that he's 74 now. Maybe it's because, thanks to the Kira weirdness, I ended up so much younger.
I just... I'm worried suddenly that he's not going to be around forever, you know?
I'm glad he's okay. Heck, he's Japanese; he'll make it to at least 110, right?
Ash
***
To: Don Smith
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Quick Update
Sent: 11.05.2040, 8:07 p.m.
Hey Ash,
Your added security's not very secure; all someone has to do is look in my inbox.
I hear you. Yeah, Eiji's going to be around for a long time to come. He'll probably outlive me. I'm doing ok, but I've got higher cholesterol and high blood pressure. Aside from slightly brittle bones, he's fit as a fiddle. But I get what you mean.
You should visit. I know there'd be some risk, but at this point, we both know that's not the reason.
--Sing
***
To: Sing Soo-Ling
From: James Crane
Subject: Re. Quick Update
Sent: 13.05.2040, 11:18 p.m.
Hey Sing,
No one's going to look in your inbox. I'm anonymizing the outgoing is all. But you're right; it's flimsy. All this correspondence is really low risk, or I wouldn't be writing you at Sing SL, but better a little safe, huh?
I think whether or not I should visit is a very open question.
Ash
***
To: Don Smith
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: I Fa' Down
Sent: 14.05.2040, 10:13 a.m.
Hi Ash,
I'm glad Sing wrote you so you weren't worry about me. I'm still at hospital, very loopy. Pain medicine is great! When Hisui runs around my room, it is kind of psychedelic. Sing says he talks to you about visiting?
love,
Eiji
***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Re. I Fa' Down
Sent: 14.05.2040, 8:27 p.m.
Hey Eiji,
Man, you do sound loopy. I'm glad you're okay. It must have brought back scary memories. Sing and I talked a tiny bit about me visiting. The trickiness of getting fake papers aside (it's doable), I shouldn't. It would disrupt your life, and it would disrupt mine. I kind of hate myself for giving you "brutal honesty" when you're loopy and recovering from hip and back (?) surgery. But I got to nip this in the bud. Maybe sometime, but I can't now. I love you. I love you so much. That's why.
A
P.S. If I came, I wouldn't want to go.
***
To: Don Smith
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. I Fa' Down
Sent: 16.05.2040, 11:54 a.m.
Hi Ash,
It's ok. I hope one day you won't feel that way. But you feel the way you feel. I love you too.
E.
***
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To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Fed Up w/It
Sent: 11.03.2041, 12:42 p.m.
Hey Eiji,
So B walked out on me. It's over. Moreover, he says I'm the one who really didn't want a relationship. Me. Just because I didn't get off to his satisfaction during sex. Therefore, we must obviously revert to being "just friends," whatever the hell that means.
I was willing to sleep with him. I even enjoyed it sometimes. I told him so, even though he never believed me. What the hell did he want?
This really annoys me.
Not B walking out, which infuriates me; I mean this incessant bludgeoning of our society on the idea that you can't want someone as a partner unless you want them for hot sex. I am so tired of it all. Sometimes, I just want to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger just so I won't have to hear anymore of this shit.
He's going to Petersburg for a while. We'll still work together remotely but... jeez.
Ash
***
To: Don Smith
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Fed Up w/It
Sent: 12.03.2041, 8:16 a.m.
Ash, don't joke to me about killing yourself. It bothers me. Please don't.
I'm so sorry about B. It sounds like he doesn't understand this part of you, which surprises me because you have been together for years, and I think he knows you pretty well, right?
I don't know Boris, so I can't comment on what he is thinking about, but it sounds like this comes from his own issue too? Maybe you can still work through it?
I feel angry for you, not at Boris, but at your situation. You deserve someone who understands you. How can someone be blessed by being close to you and not study you enough to understand?
love,
Eiji
***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Fed Up w/It
Sent: 12.03.2041, 3:37 p.m.
Thanks, Eiji. Well, striving to look at it from B's POV, I guess a lot of it goes back to his marriage/being gay. He always felt his marriage was fake because he wasn't attracted to his wife, and she felt the same way. Given that and fact that society spends every waking picosecond trumpeting the idea that while sex might not be love, love is most definitely sex, it's not surprising he feels this way. Put that way, I can see how me being kind of lukewarm isn't enough for him. So I guess I just couldn't give him what he needs. Damn. That's even sadder.
Sorry about the suicide riff. It was just harmless ideation. Funny thing about coming back from the dead is you really don't want to die again.
love,
Ash
***
To: Don Smith
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Fed Up w/It
Sent: 13.03.2041, 9:08 a.m.
Ash, you should come and visit us. Come and be with your friends, who would never imagine that you are not enough. That idea is laughable.
You said once if you came you wouldn't want to leave. So don't leave.
love,
Eiji
***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Re. Fed Up w/It
Sent: 14.03.2041, 11:12 p.m.
> Ash, you should come and visit us.
Yeah, you're probably right. But I can't right now with the political situation the way it is here. I'm not making excuses. I'm sure you've seen it in the news. Security at the borders (and everywhere) is tightening up, pending the election in April.
Blanca actually wrote me about it. First time I've heard from him in donkey's years. He wanted to know if my aliases were secure. He sounded more straightforward than the usual Blanca. Maybe that's what age has done to him.
Boris arrived in PB today. I'm glad he's safe.
love,
Ash
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Re. Fed Up w/It
Sent: 14.03.2041, 11:14 p.m.
I was just looking at your pseud. Why did I name you "Airy"? Because I didn't want you to be "Aged"? Are you a spirit of the air? Like a fairy--rhymes with airy? A fairy in the middle of the rice field ;-)
"And by the moon, the reaper, weary, piling sheaves in uplands airy, listening whispers 'tis the fairy..."
Or is that me?
***
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To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Well, that's done it.
Sent: 07.04.2041, 11:46 p.m.
Hey Eiji,
Well, the jig's up. The "election" results just came in and with these neo-Kirites, we'll be looking at heavily tightened security for a while. Vadim and I are going to move; I'll probably be out of contact for a while. But it'll be okay. Nothing compared to what we faced down in NY. Just old-fashioned, Soviet-style having to hide your ass to cover any "irregularities."
Just heard from B. He's going to lie low for a few days, then move too. We're okay; we've drilled our cell pretty well to be ready for this.
A
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Don Smith
Subject: Re. Well, that's done it.
Sent: 07.04.2041, 11:55 p.m.
I'll write you next from "Jennifer Short." And to be on the safe side, we'd better start coding.
***
To: Don Smith
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Well, that's done it.
Sent: 08.04.2041, 7:45 a.m.
Hi Ash,
You know, whenever you tell me, "It's okay, it's okay..." (>_>)
Be safe. Write when you can.
love,
Eiji
***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Jennifer Short
Subject: Re. Well, that's done it.
Sent: 13.04.2041, 1:23 p.m.
Hey E
Okay, settled at our new temporary HQ. Not much I can write about. All we've doing is logistical stuff is I can't talk about. Tired--but getting my B-12. How are you?
love,
J
***
To: Jennifer Short
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Well, that's done it.
Sent: 14.04.2041, 3:42 p.m.
Hi J,
Thank God I heard from you. I know you're careful and out of touch for a few days, but I worried too. We're ok, following the news about Russia. Western media is calling it martial law. Eastern media hesitates, but China calls the Kirite regime "a partner we step toward quietly." YL tells Sing he has lost some contacts in Russia and Ukraine, but I guess that's not a surprise if they are moving, like you. Write when you can.
love,
E
***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Jennifer Short
Subject: Re. Well, that's done it.
Sent: 20.04.2041, 2:10 a.m.
They hauled in B's wife. Jesus. We're going to see what we can do.
A
***
To: Jennifer Short
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Well, that's done it.
Sent: 20.04.2041, 7:56 a.m.
J,
My thoughts are with you. I hope you can help B's wife and also do so in a pretty safe way. If I can help--what I really mean is, if YL can help--let me know.
love,
E
***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Jennifer Short
Subject: Re. Well, that's done it.
Sent: 20.04.2041, 11:58 p.m.
E, I'm in touch with YL. You don't need to liaise. But thanks. I know you feel helpelss. Just keep doing your fundraising, and all that you do. We'll each cultivate our garden, though I don't know why Voltaire is especially relevant.... Gotta go.
***
To: Jennifer Short
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Well, that's done it.
Sent: 20.04.2041, 7:56 a.m.
I think Voltaire is relevant because he believed in free thought. But you show me I don't remember anything about what he said. We would have to create God. So did we create Kira? Did Kira create himself to be God and now Kirites rise like an Inquisition?
Sorry, my babble is not helpful, but I want to respond and tell you I am here.
love you,
E
***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Jennifer Short
Subject: Re. Well, that's done it.
Sent: 24.04.2041, 7:34 p.m.
Fuck. they nailed B. Wife still in custody but they'll probably let her go with b dead.
***
To: Jennifer Short
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Well, that's done it.
Sent: 25.04.2041, 7:51 a.m.
I am so sorry. I cry for you.
***
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Jennifer Short
Subject: Mad World
Sent: 28.04.2041, 8:31 p.m.
"And I find it kind of funny. I find it kind of sad..." Sorry, you asked me not to and I'm doing it again. No, I'm not going to kill myself; too many other people out there trying to to give them the satisfaction.
Moving again. May have some delay
To: Eiri Tanaka
From: Jennifer Short
Subject: Mad World, Take 2
Sent: 28.04.2041, 8:33 p.m.
Sorry about all that. I know it scares you. We're not in that much danger; I'm just venting cause depressed about B. You know.
***
To: Jennifer Short
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Mad World, Take 2
Sent: 29.04.2041, 8:01 a.m.
I understand you're venting because you're grieving. I will wait to hear from you.
love,
E
***
To: Jennifer Short
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Mad World, Take 2
Sent: 05.05.2041, 7:10 a.m.
Can you send me mail if you get this? I know you are busy moving but let me know you're okay?
love,
E
***
To: Jennifer Short, Don Smith
From: Eiri Tanaka
Subject: Re. Mad World, Take 2
Sent: 08.05.2041, 6:36 a.m.
Did you get my last mail? I guess maybe you are offline somewhere. Mail as soon as you get this please.
E
***
May 8, 2041
Dear Don,
I don't know if this address is still current, but I thought I would check. Long time, no hear. Drop me a line if you get this, okay?
E. T. (phone home)
***
To: Silver Dragon
From: Sing Soo-Ling
Subject: Ash
Sent: 09.05.2041, 10:03 a.m.
LYL,
Eiji's not able to get ahold of Ash. I'm sure you've been following the upheaval in Russia. He and his fellow hackers and whatnot were on the run following the election. They tried to spring a woman from custody between April 20-24. Failed. Ran. Her estranged husband was killed. That's all Eiji knows. Oh, and Ash said he'd be incommunicado for a while, but Eiji hasn't heard anything since 4/28.
I know how much you love sticking your neck out for Ash, but can you let us know if your intel has anything? Thanks.
btw, did you change your number on me again, or can't you at least get Xun to pick up a call?
--SSL
***
To: Sing Soo-Ling
From: Silver Dragon
Subject: Re. Ash
Sent: 9.05.2041, 6:45 p.m.
Hello Sing:
I'm well. Thank you for asking.
The number did get changed, yes, though I assure you it was a security measure rather than a personal affront. I will have Xun contact you from the new one tomorrow afternoon.
As for Ash, I'm checking. Preserve yourself in patience: my network is thin west of Kyrgyzstan, so don't mail me every day for an update. I'd find it irksome.
LYL
***
To: Silver Dragon
From: Sing Soo-Ling
Subject: Re. Ash
Sent: 09.05.2041, 8:06 p.m.
LYL,
Thanks. You're a mensch, you know that?
--SSL
***
To: Sing Soo-Ling
From: Silver Dragon
Subject: Re. Ash
Sent: 14.05.2041, 6:45 p.m.
Hello Sing:
I am not now, nor have I ever been, a Mensch.
There is a decent probability that Ash was apprehended by a mercenary cell called the Cold Sun, also abbreviated XC or KS, on April 27th. If that's the case, there is a decent probability he is alive, as their hallmark is selling information. Of course, given how difficult Ash can be to contain alive, there is a decent probability he is not.
There is also a distinct possibility that he did not fall into the hands of the XC. My information is based on several educated guesses about the identity of the group apprehended.
Unless he resurfaces, in which case I have no doubt he will contact Eiji with far more celerity than my contacts will update me, it is unlikely I'll have further information.
I am enclosing a brief document on the history and characteristics of the XC to forestall Eiji's predictable flood of queries.
LYL
***
To: Silver Dragon
From: Sing Soo-Ling
Subject: Re. Ash
Sent: 15.05.2041, 8:52 a.m.
Thanks, YL. I knew you'd come through. Hope you're still continuing well.
--SL
***
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To: Eiji Okumura
From: Vladimir Ilych Ziv
Subject: Your Friend
Sent: 28.06.2041, 9:22 p.m.
Hey Eiji
It's me but a friend is typing this out for me. No computer acces in here. I'm in prison but Im ok. I'll update you when I can will be rarly. They treat us ok. I'll write from this adres when I can maybe very seldam. To varify it's me you once sent me pumpkin and I flushed it. Pumpkins have scare me since I was 5. Love you.
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To: Eiji Okumura
From: Vladimir Ilych Ziv
Subject: Your Friend
Sent: 17.05.2042, 10:53 p.m.
Hey Eiji,
It's me. My friend typing. Still in prison, still ok. It's not so taugh at here. There motivated by mony not ideology, which is good for us. I have made some friends like this guy. Say hello, dude:
Очень приятно, Эиджи.
Wish you could write me back but don't reply for my friends safty. Love you.
***
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To: Eiji Okumura
From: Mikhail Kenin
Subject: From Vladimir Ilych
Sent: 31.03.2044, 10:53 p.m.
Hey Eiji,
I should stop writing you. You probably thought I was dead and it's not help you to keep wondering if you'll heer from me every few years. This is a new address because a new friend is helpful. Things are same here. I will write again when I get out. I will get out. I'll try my best.
Letters 2047
